I remember when I graduated from college, my mother made sure I had a job. In fact, I believe she even set up the interview. After my first grueling day of learning how to help Medicare providers with their claim inquiries, I went home and stretched out on the couch. The phone rang and I heard one of my favorite voices in the world. “Chee-Peach!” My grandfather’s nickname for me. In fact, he had a nickname for everyone. “How was your first day?” I went through the motions and told him it was great and all that. Deep down inside, all I could think is this could not be what life was all about. There’s no way I was going to spend the rest of my days going to this place and giving them all my energy. Back then, I had no desire to be an entrepreneur so instead, I figured out ways to give them the minimum while making them think they were getting the maximum and saving my real energy for my own pleasure.
Over the years, that free-spirit was beaten out of me through the need to pay bills, life’s struggles, extreme religious experiences, bad relationships, and many other things. I became that exact same person I didn’t want to be and as a result, all the childhood issues I never dealt with came back to haunt me in my miserable life. I fell in and out of states of functional depression that I hid by going to church five days per week. I was a minister and a teacher, plus, I helped run our non-profit organization. I also made sure to surround myself with people who needed help so I could focus on their needs instead of my own misery. As you can imagine, I grew further away from the things I likes to do under the guise that I was giving it all up for Jesus. I even convinced myself that it was the right thing to do.
Then one day, my house of cards came falling down. I was at a fork in the road where I was either going to have to hide even more of who I really was to go further in the ministry or choose to be the real me. As you all can see, I choose me and haven’t regretted it once. If you’ve followed my spiritual healing journey, you know I’ve come a long way, baby. Now, I’m finally ready to deal with those inner child issues. Prayer, meditation, and sonic healing have been amazing. Now, I’ve decided to start painting. I’ll be the first to tell you that I have no artistic talent whatsoever, yet, I’m creative and I have the supplies.
Peace and blessings.